So this has literally been an ongoing rant of mine for quite a while, but yesterday I stumbled across and article that discussed how women who are not pregnant nor have a desire to be pregnant are viewed in society. I have to say, this sparked A LOT of controversy within my core group of friends (mostly girls, but a few guys chimed in as well). Let’s just start by saying (bold, loud and proud) I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN. NOT TODAY. NOT TOMORROW. NOT NEXT YEAR. NOT IN THE NEXT TEN YEARS. NOT EVER.
The reasons behind this are personal and really not something that should concern anyone else, except myself, my family and my future husband. Society has this damn belief that women need to marry and pop out kids (in whatever order they choose) because it’s the way of life.
I am completely content with my life that doesn’t involve a baby (never) or a husband (yet). I get to focus on ME. I get to focus on my mind, my health, my body, my career, my education and honestly, WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO FOCUS ON. If I want to sleep until 2:00 pm on a Saturday than drag my ass down to the beach and sleep on the beach all day, well guess what? I CAN DO THAT – BECAUSE I AM NOT A MOTHER. If I want to go out with the girls five nights in a row, guess what? I CAN ALSO DO THAT BECAUSE I AM NOT A MOTHER.
Some many times I am approached by people, especially woman. They ask me what I do for a living, where I’m from, who I’m dating…and of course….”When are you two planning a child?” My reply: “I don’t know, when are you planning on croaking over and dying?” Exactly. It’s just rude. Like, don’t ask me when I’m planning a child. The only thing I’m planning in my head is my dinner, my outfit for tomorrow, and workout plan. And possibly my weekend plans. Get out of my face, lady. Now obviously I don’t say stuff like that because my momma taught me better so I usually chuckle and say “a baby isn’t in our plans just yet, but maybe one day.” (knowing damn well I don’t want a baby, but whatever shuts her up, right?)
It always cracks me up when other people ask me when I’m getting married. Seriously? Listen people, I’ve already been married once and it was a huge lot of SUCK and a little bit of FUN. Please remind me WHY I want to do that again? Ok, my point exactly. People always remind me of my age and how quickly I’m approaching 30 and how I need to start considering marriage. Once again, I have considered it and my boyfriend knows that when the time is right, we will get married. DO NOT PUSH ME TO GET MARRIED. Let me repeat this: DO NOT PUSH ME TO GET MARRIED. Hello, have y’all not read the stats on divorce rate? Maybe if you weren’t constantly shoving marriage and babies in every poor girl’s face, we wouldn’t have such high divorce rates. You know, just a thought.
Then there’s the whole social media shit. Like everyone just wants to have babies/get engaged so they can post it on Facebook. Seriously? Ok, I get it. It’s exciting and you want EVERYONE to know you’re just full of shit and giggles….but that doesn’t need to be the reason behind you getting knocked up or engaged.
Anyways, I hope this post finds everyone some sort of justice for their choice. It’s ok to be single, 30 and without kids. Hell, it’s ok to be 45, single and without child. As long as you’re happy and you are following your dreams then nothing else matters.