Sorry for excessively blogging lately, but sometimes it’s my only way to deal with what I feel without becoming an emotional basket case.
Have you ever wanted something, like, REALLY REALLY bad? And I don’t mean like a pair of shoes or something simple – I mean like that rockstar position you interviewed for (*wink wink*), good news from the doctor, or even for a relationship to work out. Recently I have found myself wanting, like desperately craving and needing, something that I feel like I worked really hard for. It sucks because some things just take time (there is where my lack of patience comes into play). Excessive time makes me over-think it, though. I tend to play back every detail of every second and then I start doubting all the confidence I had exhibited initially.
I know I’m tough and I know that I can accomplish pretty much anything I put my mind to, but dang it, I really really hate not knowing where this is all going. I know God has a plan for me and I know He will only guide me down the path that is chosen for me, but I really want this. I want it so bad that I’m scared I will screw it up.
U G H.